Did you know that there’s a common misconception that people either have masculine or feminine traits.
The truth is that these traits are not exclusive to gender identity and everyone possesses a little bit of both.
For instance, you might have both traditionally masculine traits like being assertive and decisive while also having some more traditionally feminine traits like being compassionate and sensitive.
A study by Costa and McCrae (1992) found that the Big Five personality traits are not perfectly correlated with gender. For example, although men are typically seen as more assertive than women, there is a significant amount of overlap between the two genders on this trait.
Keep in mind, there is no guide book on how to be masculine and feminine, it all comes down to interpretation. Some people may feel more comfortable expressing their masculine and feminine side, while others may not. This may be the case for you or your partner. Don’t be afraid to embrace both your masculine and feminine sides. They’re both parts of who you are, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
So, how does this knowledge apply to a relationship? One myth to dispel is the idea that each partner must stick to traditional gendered traits for a relationship to succeed. Realistically, most people exhibit a combination of both traits, and successful relationships are based on balancing your similarities and differences.
A study by Bem (1974) developed the Bem Sex Role Inventory (BSRI), which is a measure of gender role identification. The BSRI assesses people's scores on six dimensions of masculinity and femininity: assertiveness, instrumentality, dominance, independence, nurturance, and expressiveness. Bem found that people's scores on the BSRI did not always align with their biological sex. For example, some men scored high in femininity, and some women scored high in masculinity.
Instead of repressing or ignoring any of these traits, the secret to a healthy relationship is to embrace them all. As a result, it's important for you and your partner to feel comfortable exhibiting both your feminine and masculine sides with each other. This requires clear communication and understanding.
Be mindful of your partner's feminine and masculine traits and make an effort to speak to them in a way that respects your differences. It is important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to be masculine or feminine. What matters is that you and your partner are comfortable with who you both are and are to balance your masculine and feminine qualities in a way that works for your relationship. As a result, don't be scared to let your softer side show, and don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. To have a great relationship, you must accept the entirety of who you and your partner are.
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