Hey there! So you've finally found that special someone, and things are getting serious. That sounds great!
Whether you've just started dating or have been together for years, every relationship takes work. The good news is, there are some simple habits you can take to help keep your relationship strong, healthy, and happy for the long haul. We're talking about the little things that make a big difference.
These may seem small, but trust us-if you can nail these 5 habits, you'll be well on your way to relationship bliss. Read on to discover the secrets of the happiest and most secure couples out there. Your future self will thank you!
1. Communicate Openly and Honestly
Communicating openly and honestly is the foundation of a healthy relationship. In fact, in a one study, couples instructed to appreciate their partner’s positive qualities once a week for 6 weeks reported significant improvements in relationship connection, closeness, trust, passion, and happiness compared to the control group. Simple gestures like a morning kiss, appreciative text during the workday or verbally acknowledging a partner’s contributions at home reinforce bonds even during mundane moments.
Listen actively
Make eye contact, give your partner your full attention, and listen to understand rather than just reply. Ask follow up questions and paraphrase what they said to confirm you understood correctly. Little things like nodding, saying "uh huh," and mimicking their body language can show you're engaged.
Share your feelings
Express how you truly feel in a constructive way. Say "I feel" instead of accusing "you always." Talk about behaviors and actions rather than personal attacks. Discuss one issue at a time, and use "I" statements. Share both positive and negative feelings to build intimacy.
Be transparent
Don't hide things from your partner or avoid discussing difficult issues. While privacy is important, secrecy erodes trust. Honesty and openness, even when it's hard, will strengthen your bond in the long run. Come clean about mistakes, share your hopes and dreams, and be willing to be vulnerable.
Check in regularly
Make time each week to connect without distractions. Discuss what's working well, any challenges you're facing, and your relationship in general. Compromise when you disagree, look for common ground, and approach each conversation with a willingness to understand the other perspective. Regular relationship check-ins allow you to address any issues before resentment builds up.
With open, honest communication as a priority in your relationship, you'll build intimacy and trust that lasts. Make the effort to listen well, share how you truly feel, be transparent in all areas of your life together, and check in regularly. These habits will help ensure you have a healthy, thriving relationship for years to come.
2. Make Quality Time for Each Other
Making quality time for each other is one of the most important habits for a healthy relationship. When life gets busy, it's easy to get caught up in work, kids, chores and everything else - but your relationship should still be a top priority.
Schedule dedicated date nights.
Try to schedule a date night at least once a week or every other week. Get a sitter, turn off your phones and make time to connect. Do an activity you both enjoy, like going out for dinner, seeing a movie, cooking a meal together at home or just talking over a bottle of wine. Making this time for each other will strengthen your bond and intimacy.
Engage in meaningful conversations.
Talk to each other - not just about work, finances and responsibilities but about your hopes, dreams, values and what inspires you. Get to know each other on a deeper level by sharing how you genuinely feel. Be fully present by maintaining eye contact, listening and responding thoughtfully. Meaningful conversations build closeness and understanding.
Express appreciation and affection.
Say "I love you" often, give hugs, hold hands, kiss and engage in regular physical intimacy. Offer compliments and express your appreciation for your partner. Saying things like "You're so thoughtful" or "I feel lucky to have you" can go a long way. Simple gestures and words of affection are so important for a healthy, happy relationship.
Making quality time, engaging in meaningful conversations and expressing affection are habits that will nurture your connection and strengthen the bond with your partner. While life may get in the way, don't lose sight of what really matters - your relationship and each other. Put in the effort and watch your love grow deeper.
3. Show Appreciation and Affection
Showing your appreciation and affection for your partner is one of the most important habits for a healthy relationship. Make sure to express your love through words and actions.
Multiple studies emphasize the importance of regularly expressing appreciation, affection, and gratitude to cement happy partnerships. Partners who thank each other for everyday efforts or thoughtfully perform small acts of kindness experience boosted oxytocin levels and emotional intimacy over time.
Say "I love you" often.
Verbalize your feelings and say those three little words regularly. Hearing them will make your partner feel loved and secure in your relationship.
Give compliments and praise.
Offer compliments and praise for both big and small things. Say something like, "You did a great job handling that difficult work situation today. I'm proud of you." Or, "Have I told you how much I love your smile?" Compliments and praise will boost your partner's confidence and self-esteem.
Show affection through touch.
Hold hands, give hugs, kiss, and cuddle. Physical intimacy leads to feelings of closeness and connection. Even simple touches like a quick hug, kiss or shoulder squeeze can go a long way.
Do small things to show you care.
Bring your partner their favorite coffee or snack, give a card or small gift "just because", cook their favorite meal or give them a back massage. Small acts of kindness and thoughtfulness demonstrate your love and support.
Make quality time a priority.
Set aside time each week to connect with your partner. Go on dates, try new activities together, engage in meaningful conversations, laugh together and simply be fully present with one another. Make the time to nourish your relationship.
Focusing on expressing your affection and appreciation in these meaningful ways will strengthen your emotional intimacy, foster trust and help build a healthy, long-lasting partnership. Make these loving habits a regular part of your relationship and you'll be well on your way to many years of happiness together.
4. Be Supportive and Understanding
A healthy, long-lasting relationship requires effort from both partners. One of the most important habits is showing your support and understanding for each other.
Be Supportive and Understanding
Give your partner your support and cheer them on. Ask them about their day and listen with an open mind and without judgment. Be their shoulder to lean on when times are tough. Your partner should feel like you have their back no matter what.
Understanding each other is key. Try to see issues from your partner's perspective. Put yourself in their shoes before reacting. Accept that you won't always see eye to eye, but make an effort to understand why they feel the way they do. Compromise when you can.
• Offer a listening ear without distraction when your partner wants to open up.
• Avoid criticism and instead provide encouragement. Cheer them on!
• Accept them as they are instead of trying to change them. Value them for who they are.
• Respect each other's opinions and try to understand different viewpoints.
• Give comfort and affection when they've had a bad day. A hug can work wonders!
A healthy partnership is a two-way street. While being supportive and understanding of your partner, make sure you also feel listened to, respected, and cared for in return. If at any time you feel your emotional needs aren't being met, have an open and honest conversation about it.
Compassion and compromise are so important. When you go out of your way to be supportive and understanding, you'll build a foundation of trust and stability in your relationship that will last through challenges and setbacks. Make this a habit, and you'll be well on your way to a happy, healthy partnership built to last.
5. Maintain Individuality and Independence
Maintaining your independence and individuality in a relationship is key to happiness for both partners. While it's important to make time for each other, it's equally important to pursue your own interests and nurture your own friendships.
A study tracking couples for 3 years revealed that partners who balanced we-ness and me-ness were less likely to break up and reported greater relationship quality over time. Strive for symbiotic togetherness by spending plenty of apart time on independent activities so you have novel experiences to share with each other.
Make time for your hobbies and passions. Whether it's a sport you enjoy, an instrument you play, or a cause you volunteer for, keep up with the activities that fuel your interests outside of the relationship. Your partner will appreciate you more for it, and it will make the time you do spend together even better.
Spend time with your own friends. Make the effort to stay in touch with your close friends and make plans to see them regularly. Having your own circle of friends provides balance in your life and gives you an outlet to do the things your partner may not enjoy as much. Your friends were there before the relationship and will likely be there after, so show them you value them.
Take separate vacations. While couples trips are great, it's healthy for both of you to take trips on your own or with your own friends from time to time. Use the opportunity to pursue your own interests at your own pace. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder, and the time apart will make you appreciate your partner even more when you reunite.
Maintain some financial independence. Have your own personal bank account in addition to any joint accounts you share. While in a committed relationship, finances often become intertwined, but keeping some money that is just your own allows you to spend on things your partner may not value as much. It also provides security should you ever separate.
Nurturing your independence and individuality in a loving relationship leads to greater happiness, security, and longevity. Rather than losing yourself in the relationship, maintain a balanced and well-rounded life with your own interests, friends, experiences and resources. Your relationship will thrive as a result.
So there you have it, the secrets to a happy, healthy relationship. Make communication a priority, share new experiences together, express appreciation regularly, resolve conflicts in a constructive way, and maintain your independence. Put in the effort to strengthen your connection and you'll be well on your way to relationship bliss. While it may not always be easy, the rewards of a loving partnership are well worth it. So what are you waiting for? Start putting these habits into practice today and watch your relationship flourish. Your future self will thank you for it!
About the Author
Sheravi Mae Galang is a Filipino psychometrician and writer who delves into the complexities of love and relationships. With a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology and a current pursuit of a Master's Degree in Clinical Psychology, she explores human relationships, focusing on the psychology behind attachments, communication, personal growth, and more. Sheravi aims to increase understanding of the factors that influence relationships in order to help people nurture stronger bonds.
You can connect with her through email (sheravimaegalang@gmail.com).
