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😔 Ever feel like someone's "sorry" just doesn't cut it? You're not alone! Apologies and excuses can sound alike, but their impact is night and day.
👉 This newsletter dives into the key differences between a sincere apology and a sneaky excuse, so you can navigate those tricky relationship moments with confidence.
🤔 What's the Difference?
A true apology acknowledges your hurt and takes responsibility. It's about saying "I messed up" and showing genuine remorse and understanding the impact it had on the other person.
An excuse, on the other hand, tries to downplay the situation or shift blame. It's more about avoiding responsibility than making things right. It doesn’t hold any accountability at all. Minimizing, deflecting, and “I’m sorry you feel that way” is all in that bucket.
🚨 Why Does it Matter?
Sincere apologies are crucial for repairing relationships. They rebuild trust and show commitment to change.
Excuses, however, can be hurtful and damaging. They leave you feeling unheard and disrespected.
🖐️ 5 Signs You're Getting an Excuse (Not an Apology):
😭 1. No Acknowledgement of Harm
Did they avoid taking responsibility for their actions? Have they actually understood the impact their actions had? If not, maybe they blamed you or the situation instead.
⛔️ 2. Defensive Tone
A sincere apology sounds heartfelt, not defensive or aggressive.
🙅🏻♀️ 3. Body Language Mismatch
Watch for body language that contradicts the words. Crossed arms or a raised chin might indicate defiance, not regret.
👄 4. Self-Focused Words
An apology focuses on your feelings, not theirs. Look for "I'm sorry, I can see how that…" instead of "I didn't mean to."
🧐 5. No Solutions Offered
A sincere apology includes a plan to fix things. Did they offer to make amends or change their behavior?
💬 How to Respond:
If you hear an excuse, take some time to decide how to move forward. You may need to set boundaries or consider if your communication in your relationship is healthy.
A sincere apology deserves a clear response. Communicate your expectations and see if they're willing to put in the effort.
Want to Master the Art of Apology?
The "Power of Apology" course on the Couply App can help! Learn valuable communication skills and build stronger, healthier relationships. Couply also offers tons of resources for couples, from quizzes to games that will help you improve your relationship.
Remember: You deserve respect and genuine apologies. This newsletter empowers you to recognize and navigate them effectively.
Happy communicating!
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Connect with the creator of Couply
Hey I’m Tim, the creator of Couply! I’m working as hard as I can with our small team to make a big difference in your romantic lives. I’d love to hear from you. You can hit me up with feature ideas, improvements or to say hi. Just drop me a note below, which links to my email address. 🙏
