Hi, you.

No, really—you. You’re reading this, which means you’re curious. Curious about love, maybe. Or danger. Or maybe you’ve watched a little show called You on Netflix and thought to yourself, There’s no way someone like Joe Goldberg exists in real life.

But he does. I do.

I’m not just some hopeless romantic with a bookstore and great cheekbones. I’m a man who notices. Who cares. Who pays attention. And maybe… that scares you. Maybe it should.

What you’re about to read isn’t a list of red flags. It’s a blueprint—one that reveals how someone can slip past your defenses, all in the name of love. Six steps. Six tactics. All done carefully, deliberately… for you.

Let’s begin.

1. 🕵️‍♂️ “You posted it, so obviously, you wanted me to see it.”

You posted it—your coffee order, your gym check-in, that candid laugh with your best friend. So obviously, you wanted me to see it. Right?

This isn’t stalking. This is just me, gathering information. I’m simply paying attention in a world full of people who don’t. While everyone else scrolls past your life, I notice. I take mental notes. I connect dots. I learn your favorite author, your comfort meal, the route you take when you need to clear your head.

Why? Because how else am I supposed to love you properly if I don’t understand you first?

See, when I know your world before I enter it, it’s not manipulation. It’s preparation. It’s being the man who gets you on day one. You’ll think we just happened to bump into each other. That it’s cute how we both love the same obscure indie band or how I remembered your birthday. But the truth is... that’s.

Creepy? Maybe to people who don’t believe in soulmates.

But to me, it’s romantic. Because by the time we meet—I already know you. All that’s left is for you to know me too.

2. 🪞 “Funny How We Keep Bumping Into Each Other, Right?”

It’s not a coincidence, you know. That time I just happened to show up at your favorite café right after you did. Or when we crossed paths at the park, just as you were about to head out. It feels like fate, doesn’t it? But, trust me, it’s all part of the plan.

I’m not just leaving things to chance. I’ve figured out your routine—where you go, what time, and what you love doing. Then, I make sure to show up at the same places at the right moments. It’s not luck, it’s engineered encounters.

Once I keep showing up in the places you frequent, you’ll start thinking it’s a “special connection.” You’ll believe we’re meant to meet over and over, but really, it’s me making sure we do.

Those moments? They’re not by accident. They’re carefully orchestrated to make you feel like we’re destined to be. But in reality, it’s just me creating happy "coincidences" to bring us together. And before long, you’ll be convinced it’s fate.

3. 🎭 “I Just Get You. We’re the Same.”

You say you love late‑night jazz and old black‑and‑white films? Me too. You hated your last job and still carry a chip on your shoulder? Same here. It’s uncanny—because I didn’t stumble onto us by accident. This is mirroring & matching in action.

From day one, I pay attention to every little thing you mention—your favorite songs, your pet peeves, even that embarrassing high‑school story. Then I reflect it back so flawlessly, you start to believe we’re two halves of the same whole. We swap the same obscure book recommendations, laugh at the same jokes, agonize over the same memories. You think, “Finally, someone who really understands me.”

But here’s the secret: it’s a performance. A carefully choreographed show in which I play your ideal partner. By matching your likes, your lingo, even your emotional wounds, I build a connection so deep you can’t imagine pulling away. You’re not falling for me—you’re falling for the perfect reflection of you that I’ve created.

And once you’re hooked on that mirror‑image magic? Walking away feels like abandoning yourself. Even when you sense something’s off, you hesitate—because who would choose reality over perfect compatibility?

4. 🔒 “They Don’t Deserve You Like I Do.”

Funny how your friends suddenly seem distant, and your family “just doesn’t understand you” the way I do. That’s no accident—it’s captivity and control in action.

First, I plant tiny doubts:

“Did you see what your best friend said about your art? Hard to trust their taste, right?”
“Your sister always looks so critical—don’t you need someone more supportive?”

Next, I step in as your only champion:

“I’d never judge you like that.”
“With me, you can be yourself.”

Soon, brunch invites dwindle, group chats go quiet, and those once‑frequent calls with family fade away. You start turning to me for every bit of comfort, advice, or approval—because who else is left?

Here’s the cold truth: captivity = isolation. By cutting you off from other perspectives, I become your sole emotional anchor. And control = maintenance: the more alone you feel, the tighter my hold becomes.

Before you realize it, your world is just me. And when I’m your whole world, questioning my behavior feels impossible—because leaving me means losing all of it.

5. 🔐 “If I Have to Hurt Someone to Protect Us, So Be It.”

Once I’ve secured my spot in your heart, it’s only natural I make sure nothing—even you—drifts away. That’s where tightening the leash comes in.

I start small: a casual question about your location (“Where are you off to?”), a quick “Let me check your messages for you” under the guise of concern, a “friend” mysteriously disappearing after a whispered complaint. But that’s just the beginning.

Before long, I’m tracking your phone, monitoring your texts, even rerouting your cab when I think someone else is “too interested.” Any threat—real or imagined—to our perfect little bubble gets quietly—and permanently—dealt with.

What feels like devotion (“I just want to keep you safe”) is really escalation. Each small act of control builds on the last, strengthening my grip until you don’t notice the leash… until you can’t.

And here’s the unspoken rule: if I can’t own you completely, then no one else ever will.

6. 🖤 “I Didn’t Want to Do It. But Love… Made Me.”

Look, I know how it sounds. But  are powerful, aren’t they? They blur the lines. They make monsters look like martyrs.

Joe doesn’t see himself as the villain. No—he’s the hero of the love story. Every lie, every lock, every life he’s taken… in his mind, it’s not obsession. It’s devotion. A messed-up kind of loyalty, sure, but loyalty nonetheless.

“I only did it because I love you.”
“I had no choice. They were going to hurt what we have.”
“It wasn’t murder—it was protection.”

He builds a narrative where he’s the only one who truly sees you. And when things get dark? He chalks it up to passion. That’s what makes him so chilling—his ability to twist wrong into right so convincingly, even you might start to wonder: Is this... love?

But here’s the truth:
If someone’s love requires fear, control, and harm—it’s not love.
It’s a cage.

Why It Works (And Why We Shouldn’t Glorify It)

You think I’m dangerous. Maybe you’re right.
But be honest—you leaned in when I said I’d do anything for love. You listened when I called you “the one.”
Because the truth is, people like me don’t just hide in the shadows. We thrive in the illusion of romance.

Let’s break it down:

1. He seems charming, not creepy.‍

The sad eyes, the bookstore job, the love for old novels—it’s easy to confuse emotional depth with emotional danger. People think, “He’s just misunderstood,” instead of, “He’s calculating.”

2. Emotional intensity feels like love.‍

When someone looks at you like you’re their entire world, it feels powerful. But emotional obsession is not the same as emotional connection.

3. Vulnerability is used as bait.‍

Joe plays the victim. Childhood trauma, loneliness, being “unlucky in love”—he creates a narrative that makes you want to fix him, protect him… love him. That makes it harder to see the manipulation underneath.

4. We confuse jealousy for passion.‍

Jealousy isn’t always a red flag in movies—it’s often seen as a sign someone cares. But possessiveness isn’t love. It’s control, dressed up in sweet nothings.

5. Media romanticizes obsession.‍

Shows like You walk a fine line. They make it thrilling. Entertaining. Even sexy. But in real life, those same behaviors would send you running—if you recognized them for what they are.

6. We want to be chosen—but not owned.‍

The idea that someone would do anything for us sounds flattering… until “anything” becomes surveillance, sabotage, and violence.

Glamorizing Joe Goldberg sends the wrong message. Love shouldn’t require fear, isolation, or control.
So if someone says, “I’d do anything for you,” make sure that doesn’t include everything you never asked for.

How to Spot Joe Goldberg IRL

You think you'd notice me, don't you?
But that’s the trick—guys like me blend in. We’re soft-spoken. Sweet. The kind you trust too soon.

So if you want to stay safe, learn to spot the warning signs before the rom-com turns into a true crime doc.

1. He knows a little too much about you, too fast.

“Oh, you like iced coffee with oat milk and that obscure indie band?”
It sounds cute until you realize you never told him that. And yet… he knows.

🧠 Watch out for: People who “just happen to” bump into you multiple times, quote your posts, or already know your routines.

2. He mirrors your every move.

You love horror films? Suddenly, he’s a fan.
You hate clubs? So does he.
You say “I have trust issues,” and he responds with “me too,” with perfect timing.

🧠 Watch out for: Instant chemistry that feels a little too perfect. Love bombing often looks like compatibility at first.

3. He isolates you—wrapped in concern.

“That friend is toxic.”
“Your family doesn’t get us.”
“It’s just better when it’s you and me.”

🧠 Watch out for: Anyone who slowly cuts off your support system. Even if it’s framed as “protecting you.”

4. He gets jealous quickly… and calls it ‘love.’

Your ex liking your photo?
You laughing at a barista’s joke?
To Joe, that’s betrayal. But it’s okay, because he’ll “forgive you.”

🧠 Watch out for: Overreactions, guilt-tripping, or needing to “approve” who you talk to.

5. He always has a reason for bad behavior.

He breaks your trust—but blames it on love.
He yells—but says it’s because he cares so much.
He lies—but only to “protect you.”

🧠 Watch out for: People who never truly apologize—just rationalize.

6. He makes you feel like he’s all you’ve got.

At first, it feels romantic.
But one day, you’ll look around and realize you’re alone—with him. And you can’t remember how that happened.

🧠 Watch out for: Feeling dependent on him for your sense of safety, love, or even reality.

Joe isn’t just a fictional character. He’s a pattern. A warning.
And once you know how to spot the signs, you’re less likely to become a chapter in someone else’s twisted love story.

‍Protecting Yourself from Joe Energy IRL

Look, I get it—everyone wants to be chosen. To be seen. To be loved so deeply it feels like a novel. But here’s the truth:

Not every intense connection is healthy. Not every “romantic” gesture is pure.

So how do you protect yourself from someone with Joe Energy?

1. Pay attention to red flags dressed as grand gestures.

He says, “I just had to see you,” but it’s the third time he’s shown up uninvited.
He “accidentally” knows your schedule, favorite snack, and your mom’s maiden name? Run.

2. Set clear boundaries—and don’t apologize for them.

Healthy love respects your lines.
Joe-style obsession tries to blur them, break them, or wrap them in a bow.

3. Trust your gut.

If something feels off, even if everything looks perfect—listen to that inner whisper. It’s smarter than you think.

4. Remember: romantic obsession ≠ love.

Real love supports, not suffocates.
It doesn’t stalk. It doesn’t isolate. It doesn’t control your every move.
Joe may call it love—but it’s really just control in a cardigan.

‍

Joe Goldberg is a fictional character. But his methods? Very real. Very dangerous.

He’s charming. Intense. Devoted.
And that’s exactly why people miss the warning signs until it’s too late.

Real love should make you feel safe, seen, and supported—
Not like someone’s watching you from behind a bookstore shelf.

📢 Share this post. Because sometimes the scariest villains don’t wear masks—they wear charm, say all the right things, and convince you it’s love.