It's no surprise that we have different personalities, even with our partners.
It is essential for you and your partner to understand each other's personalities because they play a huge role in shaping the way you act and respond in different situations.
It’s important to think of your personality traits as being on a continuum instead of being definitive and distinct categories. For example, you might have received a score for ‘Negative Emotion’ after you took the Personality Trait quizzes, but that doesn’t mean you act like Grumpy from Snow White every waking moment of your life. These personality traits exist within everyone in varying amounts, making you and your partner unique in your very own way!
According to research, couples with opposing personality qualities can have pleasant and successful relationships.
However, it is important to remember that they must learn to compromise, be patient and understanding, and communicate their wants and preferences freely and honestly. They must also appreciate one another's differences.
Modesty/ Sincerity
It is important to respect and commit to the expectations your partner has for honesty and genuinity. When your partner scores high in this trait they need you to be truthful and forthcoming about your feelings, and answer honestly when they ask you about something. If you aren’t naturally modest and sincere it can be difficult to always be authentic with your partner, this may be due to people-pleasing tendencies or fear of conflict.
Sometimes the truth hurts, and it’s easier to make up a ‘white lie’. However, someone who scores on the high end for this trait will likely view any kind of lie as a serious betrayal, so honesty will always be your best policy! Modest partner’s aren’t concerned with wealth or social status, which might cause conflict if your dream life contains fancy cars or living in a mansion. Be sure to have a conversation with your partner and clearly articulate your views about the type of social and material life you aspire to live together.
Negative Emotion
If you or your partner often worry about the past, present, and future (all at the same time), then you’ve witnessed how the ‘Negative Emotion’ trait can impact a person’s life. This trait can become unhealthy for you and your relationship if not strategically handled. It’s important to take the initiative in asking your partner if anything is bothering them, because they might worry about coming off too needy or selfish to bring it up themselves.
Daily mood check-ins with your partner followed with reassurance is a great way to reduce their stress and anxiety. When your partner is sharing how they feel with you, be sure to actively listen and validate their emotions. The way someone feels may not always be rational, but it is always valid and okay!
Outgoing
Unlike the ‘Negative Emotion’ trait, being outgoing is all about ‘letting the good times roll’. Experiencing positive emotion with ease, embracing social interactions, and seeking thrills (rather than avoiding them) is all part of being outgoing. It’s important to consider your partner's score for this trait so that you’re able to share equally meaningful experiences.
Someone less outgoing isn’t going to have the night of their life dancing, drinking, and socializing with strangers at the bar, because it will make them feel overwhelmed and stressed out. We recommend an easy compromise- dinner and drinks with close friends; a great way for outgoing, and not-so-outgoing partners to have the meaningful conversations they crave, in a setting where they’re both comfortable.
Accommodating
When your partner is considerate of your needs it’s always admirable; but, how do you know if you’re meeting your partner's? Sometimes accommodating people struggle to set boundaries, and unfortunately end up as other people’s doormats. No one wants their partner to feel this way, so it's important to regularly have conversations where you share ways the other could help you out. We’ll get you started! Try performing one task everyday to make your partner's life just a little bit easier. We recommend simple things like making their lunch, writing them a love letter, doing their laundry, or offering to clean the kitchen while they relax.
It can be difficult to resolve conflicts when you’re the un-accommodating partner, focus on simple phrases and strategies to effectively communicate and solve problems. Use “I feel” statements when expressing yourself, and avoid “you always” statements as they can be hurtful to your partner. Take breaks from the conversation if you need a minute to calm down, and remind yourself the goal is to understand your partner and work as a team to resolve conflict. It is never you vs. your partner, it's always YOUR + YOUR PARTNER vs. the problem.
Orderly
Ugh, why do things never seem to stay clean? It can be difficult to maintain cleanliness and organization in the home, but orderly people just can’t stand to leave it a mess! It’s important to try your best to respect an orderly partner’s time and space by helping them clean (or at least trying to clean up after yourself) and arrive on time for scheduled dates. Being consistent with communication is a huge aspect of all relationships, but will especially make the orderly partner feel appreciated. Being orderly doesn’t come easy to all of us, especially those of us with several week old Starbucks cups in our car, yikes!
Ensure you and your partner are clear on what you expect of each other in terms of pitching in around the house, and how you feel when your partner is running later than they said they would (especially if that is a recurring theme in your relationship). This will help you treat your partner better and avoid causing them unnecessary stress or frustration.
Broad-minded
There is little room for boredom when you’re in a relationship with a broad-minded person. You admire their creativity, critical thinking, and explorative character. This trait will spark interesting conversations and exciting experiences for you and your partner.
With this aspect of personality there may be a mismatch in risk taking, which can be easily solved with communicating your comfortability level for different types of experiences and agreeing on those that you'll both enjoy!
Respect, understanding, and acceptance of each other's uniqueness are the foundations of the best relationships. This is a reminder that it is very important to understand your partner's personality difference and cooperating to build a life that works for both of you.
Learn more about your partner by downloading Couply on Android or Apple! Couply offers a variety of relationship questions, couple's quizzes, expert articles, and even games that you and your partner can enjoy together while building a healthier relationship.
