New Year’s resolutions are tough to keep—but when it comes to relationships, they can be downright hilarious. From stealing fries to endless Netflix debates, couples everywhere make ambitious promises each year, only to laugh about breaking them days later. The beauty of it all? It’s not about sticking to them perfectly—it’s about having fun along the way.
Here are some funny relationship resolutions you and your partner can set for 2025—whether you keep them or not is up to you!
1. Stop Stealing Each Other’s Food
Picture this: You ask your partner if they’re hungry. They shake their head and insist, “No, I’m good.” But the moment your food arrives, they’re reaching over to snag a fry or take a bite of your burger. Sound familiar? It’s practically a relationship rite of passage, and yet, every New Year’s Eve, couples promise to put an end to the food theft saga.
Why It’s Funny:
Let’s be real—this resolution is doomed from the start. Stealing food isn’t just a habit; it’s a sign of love, trust, and the sheer joy of annoying your partner. Besides, the fries always taste better when they’re not yours. You know it, and they know it.
Tip: Save yourself the argument and just order an extra side of fries.
Better yet, surprise your partner with their own secret stash. Not only will it make them feel special, but it also guarantees you’ll have your plate to yourself… maybe.
2. Agree on What to Watch Without an Hour-Long Debate
The nightly struggle: You both settle on the couch, ready to unwind. One of you says, “What do you want to watch?” The other responds, “I don’t care, you pick.” But every suggestion you make is met with a “Nah, not that.” Before you know it, an hour has passed, and you’ve scrolled through every streaming service twice—only to end up watching Friends or The Office for the 17th time.
Why It’s Funny:
No matter how much you both want to streamline the process, the endless back-and-forth is inevitable. It’s a combination of indecision, conflicting moods, and, let’s be honest, pure laziness. By the time you pick something, one of you is probably asleep.
Tip: Try a new system to break the cycle.
Flip a coin, draw a name out of a hat, or alternate turns choosing the show. Or, if you’re feeling adventurous, use a random generator app to surprise you both. Bonus points if you create a “watchlist” of pre-approved shows to keep things simple. Just don’t forget to stock up on snacks—because even if the debate drags on, at least you’ll be munching happily.
3. Actually Finish a Puzzle or DIY Project Together
Remember that 1,000-piece puzzle you ambitiously started last January? Or the IKEA furniture that’s still in pieces in the corner of the living room? Tackling a puzzle or DIY project as a couple sounds like a fun bonding activity—until frustration and differing approaches take over. Someone inevitably gives up halfway, leaving the other to “figure it out” (or shove the pieces back in the box).
Why It’s Funny:
It’s not just the puzzle that’s puzzling—it’s the dynamic. One of you meticulously follows the instructions, while the other wants to wing it. Before you know it, you’re laughing over the mismatched pieces or arguing over how “it doesn’t look like the picture.”
Tip: Start small.
Instead of a 1,000-piece puzzle, try a 10-piece one. Instead of building a complex entertainment center, assemble a simple bookshelf. Success feels sweeter when you keep expectations manageable—and who knows? You might even graduate to that giant puzzle or IKEA nightmare by the next New Year’s.
4. Stop Using “You’re Fine” in Response to Complaints
Explanation:
It’s cold, and your partner says, “I’m freezing.” You respond, “You’re fine.” They’re hungry, and you casually reply, “You’re fine.” Sound familiar? Dismissing your partner’s complaints might save you from immediate action, but it also sparks playful (or serious) annoyance.
Why It’s Funny:
The truth is, they’re not fine, and you both know it. Yet somehow, “You’re fine” has become the default response to avoid grabbing a blanket, making a snack, or addressing their sleepiness. It’s a classic couples’ quirk that everyone swears to fix—but rarely does.
Tip: Be proactive.
Keep a stash of blankets nearby, stock up on easy snacks, and offer solutions instead of quick dismissals. A warm throw or a granola bar can work wonders in avoiding the infamous “You’re fine” comeback—and might just win you some bonus points.
5. No More “Phantom Texting” (Saying You Texted When You Didn’t)
You swore you replied to their text asking about dinner plans—or did you? “I thought I texted you back!” is a classic relationship excuse, but let’s be honest: that message never made it past your mental draft folder. Cue the playful arguments and, eventually, the sheepish admission that you completely forgot.
Why It’s Funny:
Both of you are guilty of this, and you both know it. Yet somehow, every “phantom text” incident turns into a lighthearted blame game with a side of eye-rolls.
Tip: Set phone reminders or use apps to stay on top of messages.
If that feels too serious, just own up to the lapse and laugh it off—because honestly, who hasn’t accidentally ghosted their partner once or twice?
6. Stop Turning Every Errand into a Full-Day Adventure
What starts as a quick trip to pick up milk magically transforms into a lunch date, a coffee break, and a stroll through every aisle of Target. Suddenly, it’s 6 PM, and you’re wondering how a “five-minute errand” became an all-day escapade.
Why It’s Funny:
Despite the countless “this time, we’ll be quick” promises, you both secretly enjoy the detours. It’s part of the charm of doing errands together—though you’ll never admit it out loud when trying to justify why you’re late getting home.
Tip: Set a timer for errands (and then completely ignore it because who are we kidding?).
Enjoy the adventure, but maybe plan ahead if you have other commitments—so your “quick trip” doesn’t derail the entire day.
7. Quit “Fake Sleeping” to Avoid Late-Night Conversations
You know the drill: one partner turns over, closes their eyes, and suddenly becomes the world’s heaviest sleeper right as the other starts a serious conversation. Whether it’s about what to eat tomorrow or life’s deeper questions, “fake sleeping” is the ultimate avoidance tactic.
Why It’s Funny:
You’ll always get caught—whether it’s because your breathing isn’t convincing or you flinch when they say, “Are you even listening?” The jig is up, and you both end up laughing (or having that conversation anyway).
Tip: Try honesty instead: “I’m too tired for this right now. Can we talk tomorrow?”
It saves time and keeps the late-night “fake snoozing” act for actual sleeping.
8. Actually Stick to a Budget…Together
Every couple starts the year with big financial goals: save more, spend less, and stick to a budget. But then Amazon sales, spontaneous weekend getaways, and “we deserved it” splurges come along, and suddenly, the budget is a distant memory.
Why It’s Funny:
You both enable each other’s spending. One of you suggests an impulse buy, and the other enthusiastically agrees. You’ll laugh about it later—right after the credit card bill arrives.
Tip: Create a “fun budget” to allow for indulgences while keeping your main goals on track.
That way, you can enjoy spontaneous splurges without derailing your financial plans—or your New Year’s resolution.
9. Stop “Reheating” Arguments from Months Ago
You know that one fight you had ages ago—the one about leaving the toilet seat up, forgetting a birthday text, or something equally minor? Somehow, it always sneaks back into new arguments like a ghost haunting your relationship.
Why It’s Funny:
By now, you both have a mental archive of “receipts” to bring up during disagreements. But at this point, it’s more about the principle than the issue itself. Let’s be honest: you’ve already laughed about it behind each other’s backs.
Tip: Agree to a “statute of limitations” for arguments.
Once a fight is over, leave it in the past and focus on the present. Start 2025 with a clean slate—and maybe a verbal contract to not bring up old drama!
10. Remember to Take Out the Trash Before It Overflows
It’s a tale as old as time: the trash pile grows taller, and each partner subtly waits for the other to deal with it. The result? A mini landfill in your kitchen and the classic “not it!” battle when it finally needs to go out.
Why It’s Funny:
The trash bin turns into a game of Jenga—whoever adds the piece that topples it loses. Yet somehow, despite the silent standoff, neither of you will admit defeat until you absolutely have to.
Tip: Make a rotating trash schedule or tackle the task together as a team.
If all else fails, turn it into a competition—whoever takes it out first earns bragging rights (and maybe even breakfast in bed).
New Year’s resolutions don’t have to be serious to make an impact. These funny, light-hearted commitments are all about enjoying each other’s quirks while finding small ways to grow together.
Pick one or two resolutions to try out in 2025. Even if you break them, you’ll have plenty of laughs along the way!
After all, relationships aren’t about perfection—they’re about sharing moments, embracing the chaos, and building memories together. Let’s make 2025 a year of fun, love, and maybe a little less trash piling up!
