What is a double date?
Double dates are planned events that two couples do together. So, a double date is when you and your partner go out with another couple. So, it’s you and your boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancee, wife or husband and then another couple that joins you for a day time or evening activity.
There are a few forms of double dates.
The first is when you have two main friends who are integrating their significant others into the mix for an event or date night.
The second, is when you’re all friends so have known each other for a while either before you were in a relationship or after, typically you’re friends from high school, university or are related.
The third is when you’re a group of friends and someone’s new partner is being included.
The final one is when you’re work friends, and you’re meeting your work bestie’s partner that you’ve heard them talk about for forever!
Are double dates a good idea?
Double dates can totally be fun, if you do them right! Board games are more fun with another couple, sports dates are more fun and if you’ve got some great banter going – your dinner and drink evening dates can be fun too!
This said, there are a few occasions when you definitely don’t want to double date, let’s get those out the way first.
When are double dates not a good idea?
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You’re not official and you’re not sure if you’re going to be.
Don’t do this if you’re in a situationship or don’t feel secure in this relationship. If you’re still figuring out your situation and haven’t had the “are we official talk”, then now is not the time to go out with a super-established couple. It can turn into an interview in which you’re the one discovering things about the person you’re kind of seeing!
You’re going out on a double date with a friend that is probably into you.
Come on! This is a recipe for weirdness. Do you have “that friend”? Be honest now… here is how a double date ended with a death threat!
Okay. This is my worst double date experience. I went on a “double-date” with and the person who I was going with didn’t reveal a) they had broken up with their girlfriend who obviously then didn’t show and b) they were actually definitely into my partner and c) they were crazy.
We went for an awkward lunch and then a tour of a condo tower they were building… I ended up touring an incomplete 20th floor. Buddy dude wanted me to look off the edge… it was terrifying. That night, my partner got a text saying how it would have been easy to have pushed me off the 20th story… and then my partner would be free to date other people.
My ex showed me the text and we were both like… wtf.
So... that wasn’t a great end to my double date.
Your Relationship Is on the Rocks.
If your relationship is in an extended off-phase and you are arguing, sniping and backbiting to each other. (Firstly if that’s the case, stop reading this and download Couply! We build this app for you to help improve your relationship.) But really, if things are toxic at the moment, you may not want to invite others into that situation. Maybe now it’s a better time to go and seek some help from a couple's coach or therapist and spend the time getting yourselves back on track.
How to Choose the Other Couple for Your Double Date
We like to think about this in three ways: interests, personality and vibes. So, first off, let’s chat about interests. It's great if you and the other couple have some things that connect you. Be it a hobby, a business, a creative endeavour, being foodies, a profession or a way of living. Shared interests are a great building block for friendships and a solid base for a lovely double date!
(Apart from in my case when I was interested in the construction of a new building and his interest was pushing me off said construction – but whatever, I’m so over it – it’s fine)
Now, let's talk personality. If you’re reading this, you’ve hopefully done a bunch of the personality quizzes in Couply and you know which type of personalities naturally gel and which ones don't. If you haven’t yet dove in, we recommend checking out the Color Wheel, Enneagram, and Myers Briggs. The idea here, as you do these quizzes you start to see who the people are that you can have fun with and you want to pair up with a couple who's on the same wavelength as you. If you're laid back and more introverted, a high-energy, party-loving couple might not be the best fit. Think about how you interact with others. Do you love deep, philosophical conversations, or are you more about light-hearted banter? Is politics important to you or do you prefer celebrity gossip? Choose a couple whose company feels comfortable and uplifting for you.
Lastly, vibes – look we can all be friends with people who are the TOTAL opposite of us. And it comes down to just an unspoken connection. Perhaps they're really positive, or they have that black cat energy and give it to you straight. It's just a feeling when things flow and you really value the input of the other person, or admire the way they live their life. These kinds of people are just worth keeping in your orbit as they bring light to your life; typically if they are awesome their partner tends to be awesome too! A couple with a harmonious vibe can turn a simple dinner into an unforgettable evening.
How to Pick a Great Double Date Activity
Choosing the right activity is important to make sure everyone has a great time. Here are some tips on how to pick an activity that will make your double date a success.
1. Consult the Other Couple
Don’t plan something without checking in with both partners. I did another double-date to a concert which was for a band I didn’t know. Everyone was rocking out and I was pretend lip syncing. But my partner had agreed on my behalf so – before making any decisions, have a conversation with the other couple and make sure they’re both game.
2. Choose a Group-Friendly Activity
Selecting an activity that is good for group banter is important. You want something that allows for conversation and fun experience all round.
What Are Some Great Double Date Ideas?
1. Dinner and Movie
Ah yes, the classic choice that never goes out of style. You can start with dinner at a nice restaurant, which gives everyone a chance to chat and get to know each other. Follow it up with a movie everyone is down to see.
2. Hiking
For couples who enjoy the outdoors, a hike can be a great way to spend time together. It’s a chance to enjoy nature, get some exercise and have some conversations.
3. Brewery Hopping
I bloody love a brewery. And more breweries = more fun (until it isn’t). For those who enjoy craft beers, visiting a few local breweries can be a fun day. It offers a relaxed atmosphere perfect for chatting and tasting different brews, just call it quits before too many!
4. Paint Night
You can pay to do this at a Paint and Sip spot or head to the dollar store and get the materials yourself! You don’t have to be good at painting to have fun here! It's a creative and laid-back date that encourages laughter and you get to keep a memory from the night.
5. Comedy Show
A comedy show can be a great way to break the ice! Ideally it’s a comic you’re all interested in. Some comic’s humor can be dicey, but that’s part of the fun. We all need a little more laughter in our lives!
6. Cook Hot Pot Together
This is more of an intimate activity, but it’s so fun. Pick some great broths and everyone can help in preparing by cutting up the ingredients. It’s simple, fun and most importantly delicious!
7. Games Night
Another classic! Get to know one another a little deeper with night of board games or card games. It's a great way to see who has a competitive streak and as long as you don’t take it too seriously a perfect way to spend an evening!
8. Sports Game
Let’s make sure everyone is fans of the same side! Attending a sports game is always a thrill and going to support your local pro team is a solid day out.
What Are the Final Things to Consider When Planning a Double Date?
Let’s go through a few more considerations that we think you should think about!
Picking the right activity for a double date can make the difference between an okay evening and a fantastic one. By checking in with the other couple, choosing a group-friendly activity, and considering everyone's allergies and “stuff:, you can create a wonderful and enjoyable experience for all.
Diet restrictions and Allergies
From deathly peanut allergies to vegan and vegetarian dietary requirements it’s so important to think about this! One of my good friends has a deathly allergic reaction to peanuts and for her certain environments can be a minefield. When I was hosting her over my house for a party, I sent a quick DM to tell people not to bring anything, especially food and if they did especially not with peanuts! FOUR people brought food with peanuts! So, it’s one to look out for. A quick check of the menu or a quick call ahead to the restaurant to let them know you have someone with a nut allergy goes a long way!
Be Flexible
Finally, don’t get too set in your plan. Just be cool and be open to suggestions and willing to adjust plans if needed. The goal is to ensure that everyone is relaxed, comfortable and has a really wonderful time.
Conclusion
Picking the right activity for a double date can make the difference between an okay evening and a fantastic one. By checking in with the other couple, choosing a group-friendly activity, and considering everyone's allergies and “stuff:, you can create a wonderful and enjoyable experience for all.
FAQ
1. What is a double date?
Answer: A double date involves two couples going out together for a daytime or evening activity. This can range from friends integrating their significant others into a gathering, groups of friends including new partners, to work colleagues meeting their co-worker's partner for the first time.
2. Are double dates a good idea?
Answer: Double dates can be highly enjoyable when planned correctly. Activities like board games, sports, or dinner and drinks are enhanced with another couple, creating fun and memorable experiences.
3. When are double dates not a good idea?
Answer: Avoid double dates if your relationship isn't official or secure, or if you're going out with someone who might have feelings for you. Also, if your relationship is going through a tough phase, it's better to focus on resolving these issues first.
4. How do you choose the other couple for a double date?
Answer: Select a couple based on shared interests, compatible personalities, and positive vibes. Look for common hobbies, professions, or lifestyles, and ensure that your personalities and interaction styles mesh well for a harmonious experience.
5. How do you pick a great double date activity?
Answer: Ensure the activity is suitable for group engagement and enjoyable for all. Consult with the other couple to confirm their interest and choose activities that promote group conversation and fun experiences.
6. What are some great double date ideas?
Answer: Classic options include dinner and a movie, hiking, brewery hopping, paint night, comedy shows, cooking hot pot together, games night, or attending a sports game. These activities offer a mix of conversation, shared experiences, and fun.
7. What should you consider when planning a double date?
Answer: Consider everyone's comfort levels, dietary restrictions, and allergies. Be flexible and open to adjusting plans as needed to ensure a comfortable and enjoyable experience for all participants.
8. What is the key to a successful double date?
Answer: The success of a double date hinges on choosing an appropriate activity that all participants enjoy. It's important to communicate well with the other couple, select a group-friendly activity, and consider personal preferences and requirements.
About the Author
Tim Johnson is the founder of Couply app which he created to help couples improve their relationships. Couply has over 300,000 words of quizzes, questions, games and date ideas. He hosts the Couply relationship advice podcast which you can listen to here.
Before building Couply, Tim was early at the app Wattpad. He is also an author and has written three novels.
You can connect with Tim on Linkedin here and Instagram here.
