We've all been there - you get into a disagreement with your partner, and no matter how reasonable or valid your perspective is, they just can't seem to admit fault or see your side of things. Instead, they double down on their position and insist they have done nothing wrong. Sound familiar? If your partner tends to act this way, it can be incredibly frustrating and make resolving conflicts next to impossible.
This rigid behavior may be underpinned by certain psychological tendencies like narcissism, defensiveness, or cognitive dissonance. A narcissistic partner may have an inflated sense of self and feel the need to protect their ego at all costs. Defensiveness can cause people to respond to criticism by becoming closed off and shifting blame to others. And the discomfort of cognitive dissonance—when actions and beliefs are inconsistent—may prevent someone from acknowledging their mistakes.
Whatever the root causes, being in a relationship with someone who is never wrong can take a real toll. Constructive communication becomes difficult, if not impossible, breeding more resentment over time. And it leaves the other partner feeling invalidated, unimportant, and powerless. With some insight and the right strategies, overcoming this challenging dynamic is possible. Let's explore some productive ways to handle arguing with a partner who is never wrong.
Recognizing the Pattern
When we say a partner is "never wrong," we mean they almost never take responsibility or admit fault, especially during arguments. Phrases like "you're overreacting," "you're too sensitive," or "it's your fault" after being called out are common. This refusal to accept blame often involves tactics like gaslighting (making someone question their own sanity), deflection, or emotional manipulation.
For example, if you confront your partner about coming home late without calling, they may turn it around on you by accusing you of being controlling or needy. Or they may insist you "misremembered" the agreed-upon time. These tactics are meant to destabilize you and evade accountability.
According to research, this pattern of behavior diminishes self-esteem and erodes trust over time. Partners feel dismissed and that their reality is denied. It also stifles communication; it's impossible to resolve conflicts constructively when one person insists they have done no wrong. Recognizing these unhealthy tactics is the first step toward addressing them.
Understanding the Why
While their behavior can be incredibly frustrating, having empathy for what drives your partner's stance is important. The unwillingness to be wrong likely stems from a lot of factors.
Insecurity Fuels the Need to be Right
Feeling like you always have to be right often stems from deep insecurities and fears of being vulnerable. Your partner may have experienced betrayals or emotional wounds in the past that make it incredibly hard for them to show any weakness or imperfection now. Admitting they're wrong likely triggers intense feelings of shame, anxiety, or panic about losing connection or status in your relationship.
Even small errors can make an insecure person feel like their entire sense of self is cracking or that you will now think less of them. Their brain automatically goes into black-and-white, self-protection mode, stubbornly refusing to concede anything during arguments to guard against this perceived catastrophic threat.
Being right becomes a defense mechanism for your partner, a way to stabilize their shaky self-confidence and feel in control. The more you push back, the more desperate and inflexible they may become in order to not lose this ground. It's not necessarily that they can't ever be wrong; it's that so much feels at stake each time to consider that possibility.
Validating areas where your partner is skilled or knowledgeable can help ease this insecurity and need for constant validation. So can reassuring them that just because you have a different opinion in one area, it doesn't mean you think any less of their intellect or abilities. Having your unconditional love can go a long way to soften their defensiveness over time.
Attachment Styles Can Play a Role
Our attachment styles from early life experience often continue into adulthood relationships. Someone with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style likely relies heavily on themselves while distancing from emotional intimacy or dependence on others. Admitting flaws or being wrong challenges their core defenses.
Similarly, those with high narcissistic traits struggle with self-focused attitudes and lack of empathy. Their egos are heavily invested in being right, having all the answers, and covering up perceived weaknesses or failures. Their coping mechanisms protect fragile self-esteem that cannot tolerate being wrong at any cost.
Partners with these ingrained personality and attachment patterns will continue to rigidly defend their position during conflict. They cannot introspect honestly or show vulnerability even when warranted. Their brains are wired to resist any evidence contrary to their perspective to uphold an idealized self-image.
If this sounds familiar, professional counseling could help unravel where these tendencies come from and how to relate with greater trust, accountability, and care. The compulsion to be right usually masks deeper emotional baggage. Patience and compassion are needed while old wounds are slowly healed.
Narcissistic Tendencies
In some cases, the unwillingness to be wrong may stem from narcissistic personality traits. Narcissism involves an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for excessive admiration, and lack of empathy. Being right, controlling conversations, and refusing to apologize or take feedback all help feed a narcissistic partner's self-image.
They may resort to arrogance, lecturing, criticism, or contempt when challenged or contradicted. Admitting imperfection feels incredibly threatening to their ego, so they'll continue to double down, shift blame, or irrationally justify their position. Narcissists often don't experience remorse and have a lack of self-awareness around how this impacts others.
If you suspect narcissism, don't expect vulnerable introspection from your partner when arguing. Their brains are wired differently, valuing being right over intimacy or accountability. Focus on validating yourself, upholding boundaries, and weighing if this dynamic is healthy long-term. Counseling could help, but true change still requires self-awareness on their part.
Fear of Vulnerability
For some people, the inability to be wrong or admit fault stems from an intense fear of vulnerability. Allowing that they are flawed or made a mistake feels dangerously exposing for them. Past experiences likely taught them that vulnerability led to emotional pain, rejection, or loss of connection.
As a result, your partner's brain goes into self-protection mode, stubbornly refusing to concede arguments to avoid feeling exposed or hurt. Admitting imperfections may remind them of childhood shame or traumas around being powerless, worthless, or abandoned when showing weakness.
This fear of vulnerability is driven by a sense of fragility—feeling like one crack in the armor could make them fall apart. Being right helps stabilize their self-image and avoid the risk of emotional exposure. However, this comes at the cost of true intimacy and growth in your relationship.
Cultivating a safe, loving environment can help lower their defenses over time. As your partner learns to trust you more deeply, they may become more comfortable showing genuine vulnerability without falling to pieces. This takes patience, though - those old wounds can have a long grip.
Unfamiliarity with Healthy Communication
In some cases, the inability to be wrong or see other perspectives stems from a lack of familiarity with healthy communication patterns. Your partner may have grown up without positive role models for resolving conflict.
As a result, they haven't learned essential relationship skills like active listening, compromising, or apologizing. They may lack awareness around how their behavior impacts you. Disagreements feel threatening rather than constructive, so they default to defensiveness to "win" rather than understand.
If this resonates, don't immediately judge your partner. Kindly point out how their resistance makes you feel, while also expressing empathy that this dialogue style likely feels foreign and vulnerable to them initially. Suggest working with a counselor to practice more constructive conflict habits together over time.
With practice, your partner can unlearn dysfunctional communication tendencies and develop more intimacy. But it requires patience - these patterns often stem from generational cycles that you both must be willing to break.
When arguing with your never-wrong partner, avoid escalating the conflict. Don't match their combativeness or get dragged into futile power struggles over who's right. This will only activate their defenses further. Instead, try to send calming signals through your tone, body language, and words. Express curiosity about why they dig their heels in so hard on these issues. See if this opens space for vulnerable sharing fears or hurts.
With time and care, your partner may gain the security and trust needed to handle disagreements with more flexibility and humility. But ultimately, they need to recognize the toll this takes on you and the relationship. Consider involving a counselor if you both struggle to break the never-wrong pattern. Patience and compassion on both sides can help turn arguments into opportunities for growth.
Strategies for Communication
- Focus on "I" statements - Express how their behavior makes you feel using I statements rather than you statements. Saying "I feel sad when you dismiss my concerns" is less likely to cause defensiveness than "You never listen to me."
- Active listening - Validate their emotions and perspective first before expressing yours. Say something like "I understand why you feel that way. Can I share my view too?" Listening helps them feel heard.
- Set boundaries - Be clear about what behavior is acceptable to you in a discussion and what is not. State a consequence if they cross the line, like taking a break from the argument. Stick to your boundaries.
- Seek professional help - A neutral third party like a couples counselor can facilitate healthy communication. Therapy provides a safe space to unpack underlying issues, build empathy, and break negative patterns.
The goal is to create an environment where both partners can express themselves openly without fear of judgment or invalidation. With time and practice, more productive conflict resolution is possible.
Maintaining Your Well-being
- Prioritize self-care - Make sure to engage in activities that bring you joy, comfort, and boost your self-esteem. Spend time with people who affirm you. Do things that help you relax and recenter yourself.
- Seek support - Confide in trusted friends, family members, or a mental health professional. Their outside perspective and validation can be invaluable. Venting your feelings can prevent bottling them up.
- Recognize your limits - You cannot force your partner to change. But you can control how you react and what you are willing to accept. Know when to walk away from an unproductive argument.
- Consider the future - Reflect on whether this dynamic aligns with your long-term needs in a relationship. If your core values like mutual understanding and compassion are not being met, you may need to re-evaluate the partnership.
No matter what, focus on preserving your self-worth and well-being. With the right coping strategies and support system, you can navigate this challenging dynamic while staying grounded in yourself.
About the Author
Sheravi Mae Galang is a Content Coordinator for the Couply app. Couply was created to help couples improve their relationships. Couply has over 300,000 words of relationship quizzes, questions, couples games, and date ideas and helps over 400,000 people.
Sheravi enjoys writing and is currently studying at the Cebu Institute of Technology - University for her current pursuit of a Master's Degree in Clinical Psychology. You can connect with her through email here.
