Have you ever heard of the term “mindfulness”?

It’s become quite a popular concept during recent years.

But what is it exactly?

Mindfulness is being wholeheartedly present in each moment. Its a practice of allowing thoughts and feelings to flow freely through our minds without labelling them with emotions or judgements. It’s a form of meditation that has been shown to have many benefits. Findings from research indicate that practicing mindful meditation can change the physical connections in our brain and aid in lowering symptoms of depression or anxiety.

If practicing mindfulness can physically alter your brain, imagine how powerful it could be for our relationships. So, how can you and your partner apply this concept?

The first way is to simply practice being present when we are with our partners. Sounds easy, but sometimes even picking up our phones to check a text quickly or thinking about something that happened at work while our partner is trying to tell us about their day can take away from our ability to focus on the connection in that moment. What can we do to be more present? Some ideas might be: turning our phones off for some quality time, practicing active listening when our partner is telling us something, going for a walk to escape everyday distractions at home. Being more present can increase our feelings of connectedness to our partner while making them feel heard and prioritized.

Another way that we can utilize mindfulness for our relationships is in how we communicate and listen. Using the approach of taking in what your partner is saying, while not applying any judgment or emotions creates a safe place to communicate. Say you were trying to tell your partner that something they did bothered you, and they immediately become defensive or angry- next time you want to bring something up you may hold back because of fear for how your partner will react. Instead, if your partner were to listen to you without judging what you are saying, wouldn’t you feel safer expressing a need or boundaries?

Finally, we cannot show up wholeheartedly for our partner if we are not taking care of ourselves. Practicing mindfulness for ourselves is a form of self-care that will help us open our hearts and see things through a lens of compassion when interacting with our partners. We can practice mindfulness everyday through short five-minute breathwork, or by taking a yoga class. Try even sitting by yourself for a bit and allowing your thoughts to flow freely without holding on to them. Allow them to come and go and do not attend to them by attaching any emotion or judgements.

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