12 Honest Reasons Why He wants To Break Up with You
Honesty Over Kindness During A Breakup
Navigating any breakup can be stressful and emotionally exhausting. Not knowing why and how this could have happened means you sometimes walk away from a relationship not knowing exactly why your boyfriend called it off. We might turn to friends and ask them for some reassurance, but are they really going to tell the truth? Will they be honest if they know the real reason? I know my friends won’t.
You may start this article hating me, but I guarantee at the end of this, you will wish I was your best friend. I will provide you with 12 HONEST reasons as to why your boyfriend ended the relationship and hopefully help you fix the relationship or move on and maybe even fix you.
What He Really Wanted to Say When you Broke Up
Sometimes, us men don’t know what to say. We don’t want to hurt you, but at the same time we don’t want to lead you on. When a man decides to end the relationship, he hasn’t just come up with this on the spot. It has usually taken a lot to get to this point and he feels this is the only thing he can do to help him, or even you.
The first thing you need to do is listen to exactly what he has to say. This may be hard to hear at first but if he really cared about you, he is going to tell you the exact reason why he wants to end it.
Hopefully.
If you get the feeling that something isn’t right, and the breakup isn’t sitting right with you. You need to question him a little further but remember, this might not end well. He might not be looking for a confrontation and pushing him too far might make him not want to talk anymore and push him away.
Most of the time, us men will tell you the version that we want you to hear that doesn’t make us out to be the “bad guy”. This might sound like a childish move, but the fact is, most men aren’t smart enough to make up a story on the spot, so we usually tell you “Most” of the reason.
It’s not me, it’s you.
Let’s face it, no one breaks up with you because you are perfect for them. Most of the time your boyfriend will give you reasons that centre around him: “I need space”, “I have too much on” or “it’s not you, it’s me”. All these do is make it easier for you to hear.
This is the part that we fall out…
The chances are it is you. You have either done something or NOT done something that has got to him over time, and now he has broken and can’t take it any longer.
So, let’s look at the 12 HONEST reasons that a man wants to break up with you.
From a man…
1. He said he needs space.
What he really meant was, I don’t like when you check up on me all the time. He will probably ignore your calls/text and deal with them later. Remember, his time is when he gets to think about everything that’s going on in his life. That means thinking about you. Let him miss you.
2. He just doesn’t fancy you anymore.
When we start out a new relationship, we make sure we look good and put in the time on ourselves. After time, this might not seem like a priority anymore and you both might find you are in that “comfortable” era of a relationship. As much as you might feel comfortable. Wool pyjamas and daffy duck slippers might not be your boyfriend’s idea of lingerie. Dress to impress, save the slippers for sleepovers.
3. His life goals have changed. Have yours?
Being comfortable to a man can be scary. This means we let our guard down and become predictable. We want a partner that can come along for the ride and excite us. When we start a new hobby, or a new passion. Be there and support us. Putting your man down for wanting to focus his attention on something you may feel is trivial can really make him think you don’t support him.
4. Do you like his mum?
They say a man picks a woman that is like his mum? Maybe that’s why you don’t get on with her? Tension within the family can be a huge problem for men. You moan about his mum and him mum moans about you to him. Who do you think he is going to pick? Give her a call.
5. “I’m an independent woman”.
Even Beyoncé knows how equal her relationship to Jay-Z is. Being too independent is great when you are single, but you are now in a relationship that needs a 50/50 commitment. When you make your man feel like he is not needed, he won’t stick around.
6. Is he your hero?
This is slightly like the last one, allowing your man to take care of you sometimes allows him to feel like he is your very own hero. We feel wanted and needed. By pushing him away and not letting him help when you have a problem that you know you can fix will do exactly that. Push him away.
7. Are you his porn star?
Doing the same thing over and over isn’t fun for anyone. Are you open to adventure? If you notice that your boyfriend is asking about different sex positions, or different things to try in the bedroom. Listen to what he says and be open to trying new things. This doesn’t mean he is bored of you and wants someone else, yet! If you are unsure what he likes, check his history. It’s like a how-to on pleasure for your man. Porn works for a reason, it’s usually close to what men want.
8. You are his best friend.
That’s cute but can be dangerous. Does he actually have friends? Did he when you guys met? It’s easy to get sucked into the #CoupleGoals of only spending time with your partner but being able to get away from them and spend time with your friends is healthy and a must have for a successful relationship.
9. But his friends are (insert insult here)
Of course they are, that’s why he is friends with them. So is your boyfriend when you aren’t with him but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t like them. Similar to number 4, not getting on with his friends is a one-way ticket to single-vile. They are more than likely just nervous and don’t want you to take their friend away. So, don’t take him away. Let him free sometimes.
10. He doesn’t respect or trust you anymore.
We all make mistakes, its part of being human. As a man we understand this. Respect is earned and not just given when you are in a relationship with us. When you mess up, own it. Say sorry and fix it. There is nothing more disrespectful when we know the truth, and someone continues to lie to us. When we don’t think you are owning up or telling the truth then all trust goes for us and its impossible to get back.
11. His work “wifey”
This one might be a little hard to hear but, according to Scientific American (1) more than 20% of relationships end because there is someone else. So when he says “don’t worry about her '', maybe its time to worry. I’m not saying you should start looking through his phone and hiring a private investigator but, just listen to how many times her name is mentioned and even try to say something negative about her. Watch for his defence of her.
12. The dreaded complacency stage
This stage happens right after the honeymoon period in a relationship. This is where you both start to sit back and be yourself. Not so bad eh? Well, being yourself might not actually be what he is attracted to. Be aware of how you were when you met him and how you are now. We like to create a character when we first meet people (especially if we want them to like us). This does need some balance though, because you don;t want to change for anyone. You might also not want to be single. Does your “single character” represent you? Pick wisely.
Are we friends yet?
This article is not here to blame anymore. I understand that relationships are complicated, and it might not be as simple as a list of ten reasons, as a man I want to be honest with you and give you my top ten reasons men call a relationship off. If you are lucky, or unlucky enough to not have any of the above issues, then that means you need to dig a lot deeper in the relationship to find out what went wrong. Sometimes people just grow apart, but most of the time, there will be a main reason that has made him think that you are not the one for him.
