Recently, I had the pleasure of chatting with Jason VanRuler, a therapist who's not afraid to tackle the tough stuff in relationships. His book, Get Past Your Past, isn't just another love advice manual; it's a deep dive into what makes us tick in relationships. Here’s the skinny on what we uncovered. Trust me, it's gold.

Rock Bottom to Relationship Guru

Jason kicked things off by talking about hitting rock bottom. Been there, done that, got the emotional hangover. He said, "Where do we go from here?" hits different when you're at your lowest. The takeaway? It's okay to ask for help. In fact, it's necessary. If you're stuck in a loop, it's time to break free.

Your Childhood Is Showing

Ever wonder why you're acting a bit too much like your parents in your relationships? Jason’s got an answer for that. Our early experiences shape how we do relationships as adults. It’s like being programmed in your childhood and running on that software as an adult. Want to update that software? It starts with recognizing those old patterns.

Bottling Up Emotions? Not Cool

We talked about why stuffing your feelings down is about as effective as trying not to cough in a silent room. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t end well. Jason compared it to trying not to cough in a packed church during COVID. You can only hold it in for so long before you explode. Moral of the story? Let it out. Your relationships will thank you.

You’re a Gem, Start Acting Like It

Jason dropped a truth bomb using an Antiques Roadshow analogy. If you don’t see your value, no one else will. It's about not waiting for someone else to tell you you’re a rare find. Know your worth, and don’t accept less. If you're acting like a knockoff, it's time for a brand upgrade.

Forgiveness: Yeah, It’s Hard. Do It Anyway

One of the biggest takeaways from our chat was about forgiveness, especially forgiving yourself. We’ve all messed up. Jason pointed out that dwelling in your mess-up doesn’t help anyone. Move on, make amends, and do better. It's not just good advice; it's essential for healing.

The Gist

After chatting with Jason, it’s clear: Understanding your past, expressing your emotions, and recognizing your worth are non-negotiables for healthy relationships. Oh, and forgiveness? It’s the secret sauce to moving forward.

Craving more of these real-talk relationship insights? Jason’s Instagram (@jason.vanruler) is a treasure trove of daily wisdom. And seriously, Get Past Your Past is a must-read. It's like the relationship handbook we all wish we had sooner.

Relationships are messy, complicated, and downright hard sometimes. But with a little insight and a lot of work, we can all get a little closer to that relationship nirvana. Here’s to not just surviving our relationships, but thriving in them.

‍

Watch the full episode here.

‍

‍

‍

‍